3B Sets PYC Canoeing Records
3B experiences its canoeing double header.

Off in the distance, I saw a glowing white light. I cautiously approached it, making my way down from the field house, across the bridge and onto the island, finding the source of the light: the bare-chested men of 3B preparing for a two-period canoeing class. I joined the ranks of canoeing instructors Kaitlin Eames, Maree Tolis, Albert Clarke, Jordan Ellis and Daryle Hochstetler as we waited for the head canoeing instructor to arrive. The sun was shining, the lake glistening, and sunburn was forecast for later in the day.

Across the bridge walked head canoeing instructor for pyc, Roger Brandon. “I’m Mr. Brandon,” he said. “I’m the handsome one. I should be: I made the other one!” referring to his much less handsome son and archery instructor, James Brandon.

Mr. Brandon has had extensive experience in canoeing—first participating in it at s.e.p. in 1976 as a camper, and instructing for s.e.p.s and later pycs since 1983. He showed the campers many of the original typewritten documents from those early s.e.p. classes, explaining that exactly the same methods are being used for pyc today.

Mr. Brandon examined the various canoe parts and discussed several rules for safety and equipment maintenance. He then administered a short, ultra-easy quiz on what he had just explained, threatening that if even just one question were answered incorrectly, then the dorm would find themselves cleaning up several inches of chicken poop from the henhouse! Fortunately, 3B managed to survive the test without ending up in gallus gallus domesticus waste.

Next step: How to unswamp a canoe. The campers proceeded to the water’s edge to watch instructors Eames and Tolis demonstrate. Mr. Brandon explained that Eames and Tolis had gotten into an argument on the canoe as to which was a better quality in a man: brains or muscles? Tolis, being of Greek heritage and thus embracing the rich culture of thought and philosophy, clearly argued that intelligence was more desirable, whereas Eames, because her brother is such a hunk (Mr. Brandon’s words!), clearly favored muscles. Then the two “had a falling out,” Mr. Brandon said, as Eames and Tolis collapsed into the water. They then expertly righted the canoe and paddled their way in to shore. Now it was the campers’ turn. They soon became experts at falling out of the canoes, but even more expert at getting back in.

Back ashore, Mr. Brandon explained proper paddling techniques, and the dorm took to the water to try them out. I saw a metal boat sitting ashore and pushed off in that, intending to join 3B’s canoes on the water. The bad news: It had a hole in the bottom. The good news: It was a very small hole, meaning I could stay out on the water for an extended period of time in a semi-swamped state. While taking on water, I made my way over to the canoe of 3B counselor Kiall Lorenz and assistant Zachary Bush. Bush, who is a Herbert W. Armstrong College freshman (and one of my own campers from a past pyc), told me he loves his job as a first-time worker. “It was really interesting, the transition from camper to assistant,” he said. “It surprised me a little bit, just the amount of responsibility.” Lorenz, a sophomore, echoed the sentiments. “I’ve enjoyed the challenge,” he said.

Class was drawing to a close, and it was time to begin the races. I made my way back to shore, successfully disembarking from my boat without getting wet. Trouble is, my boat decided to float back out into the lake, and I was forced to plunge into the water after it. My khakis proved an unwise choice of clothing.

The campers lined up their canoes for the start of the long race—and they were off! Jesse and Lane clocked a blistering time of 4:08, the fastest group so far for pyc this year. Unfortunately, at least one third of the dorm found themselves heading south as their canoes capsized during the race. All eventually crossed the line though.

Next up: the obstacle course. The frantic paddling, frenetic reversing, and struggling slowed the campers so much that timer Tolis was almost forced to put away her stopwatch and break out a calendar for the race.

But the next challenge was impressive: the two-canoe rescue, where one canoe starts off submerged and must be righted by the other canoe, the timer stopping when both canoes are afloat and all occupants are seated therein. The previous record? 22 seconds. The men of 3B smashed it with a time of 18 seconds!

Thus concluded a successful day’s canoeing instruction. The jubilant, soaked, record-setting men of 3B filed their way off to lunch, ready to settle down before a more mentally-drowning exercise that afternoon: speeches!