“I’ll do it,” you say. Then the time comes to do it. What happens?
Do you keep your word? When you tell your friend you will meet him at 6 o’clock, are you ready and waiting at 6 o’clock? When you say you’ll have that project ready by Wednesday morning, is it finished on Tuesday night? When you say you will do something, do people know it’s as good as done?
Are you known as a man or woman of your word?
I have asked myself these very questions—and found myself wanting. The scope of the problem wasn’t clear until I determined to overcome it. Only then did I see how often I failed and how easy it is to break your word. I also realized that this problem isn’t unique to me—it is woefully common. Our society simply does not prioritize keeping one’s word. And we rationalize it: Something came up. I didn’t realize there was this other factor. But, you know, things happen. No big deal. Thus, most of us fail to recognize just what a sin that breaking our word is!
You need God’s view on this subject. It could inspire a drastic change in your life in this vital area of character!
God’s Awesome Example
First, recognize that breaking your word is, in fact, sin.
What is sin? Anything that breaks God’s law of love. God is love; the way He thinks and acts is love. His law is simply the codified form of what God is and how He lives. Sin is anything that is contrary to the way God does things.
Breaking your word is very contrary to the way God does things!
“God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent [or change his mind]: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?” (Numbers 23:19). When God says something, it is true. His word is rock-solid, totally trustworthy.
What a difference between God and man! When we say we’ll do something, we often forget we even said it. When we do remember, we often back out. When we say we will change something in our lives, we often fail.
Not God! When He says He will do something, He does it.When He gives a promise, He keeps it. When He makes a resolution or determines to accomplish something, He always sees it through. We can count on Him to fulfill His every word—every time.
He wants us to look to His example: “Look unto me,” He says, “for I am God, and there is none else. I have sworn by myself, the word is gone out of my mouth in righteousness, and shall not return …” (Isaiah 45:22-23). Once a word goes out of God’s mouth, it is as good as done.
Notice that God swears. In How to Be an Overcomer, Gerald Flurry notes how God swore He would bless Abraham after he had proved himself willing to sacrifice his son for God (Genesis 22:16-17). “God swore by Himself in making this promise,” he wrote. “In other words, He was telling Abraham, I’m going to give my life for you, or I’m going to die trying. Because you’ve done this deed, my death will pay for your sins and I’m going to bring you into my Family. I swear this by my own life.” That is a promise you can count on! (Hebrews 6:13-17 and Luke 1:73 refer to that promise to Abraham as an oath.)
Psalm 89:35 says, “Once have I sworn by my holiness that I will not lie unto David.” God actually swears—He pronounces oaths—and He always carries them out. He never lies or goes back on His word or fails!
What if God broke His word? What if you couldn’t completely trust His promises? Thank God that He keeps His word!
And then, compare yourself to God. Compare His commitment to keep His word to yours. When a word goes out of your mouth, what happens? Do you forget about it? If you fail to follow through, do you pretend you never said it?
God says in Isaiah 55:8-9 that His ways are so much higher than our ways. Realize, He wants us to become perfect like He is; when we learn of His thoughts and ways, we must emulate them. Now, notice the specific quality He focuses on right after those verses: “For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater: So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it” (verses 10-11). Just like rain comes down and blesses and nourishes everything it waters, so does everything that comes out of God’s mouth. God never goes back on His word any more than rain falls upward! Once God says something, it will be fulfilled—and it will be a blessing!
Not one jot or tittle of God’s Word will pass away before all of it is fulfilled! That complete dependability is the very foundation of our faith! Imagine if God fulfilled 70 percent of His promises! If He only heard your prayers 82 percent of the time (“Sorry—some other really important things came up!”). Or His prophecies came to pass 9 out of 10 times (“Well—I got most of them right!”). Or if there was a 96 percent chance that Christ is actually going to return (“Well, that’s the plan, but I need a little wiggle room in case I have a better idea”).
Thank God He’s not like man!
We really need to strive to take on this quality of God! He wants us to become perfect even as He is! (Matthew 5:48). When words go out of your mouth, you should do everything you can to bring them to pass.
You can’t “unsay” something—once words come out of your mouth, they’re out—just like raindrops from a cloud. “Like clouds and wind without rain is a man who boasts of a gift he does not give” (Proverbs 25:14; Revised Standard Version). This is the antithesis of God.
Vows
It appears swearing, making vows and oaths, was common practice in biblical times. The patriarchs swore (e.g. Genesis 21:31; 31:53); David swore (1 Samuel 20:3). God’s law addresses this issue; basically He said, If you’re going to swear, here is how I want it done. These laws reveal how important it is to God that we follow through with what we say we will do! (They are similar to God regulating the common practice of divorce, even though, as Christ said in Matthew 19:8, it was because of the hardness of their hearts He allowed that, but from the beginning it was not so. Later, as we will see, Christ said to swear not at all.)
God commanded Israel through Moses, “If a man vow a vow unto the Lord [notice, it’s not mandatory, but if you do it], or swear an oath to bind his soul with a bond; he shall not break his word, he shall do according to all that proceedeth out of his mouth” (Numbers 30:2). This is important to God! Though we don’t make formal vows in the way described, the principle stands. In fact, when Christ instructed us not to make vows, He actually showed how all our words should be reliable! Just like His are!
How well do you keep your word to God?
Generally speaking, we do not make formal vows. Our marriage vows are one exception: At a wedding, the man promises and covenants with God to cleave to his wife, to love, honor, cherish and provide for her; and the woman vows to obey, submit in all things, and deeply respect her husband. It is sin to break those vows to God.
But what about the more common statements we tell God? I really want to do this.I’m sorry I fell short; I will avoid making that mistake again!I will obey you! How is your follow through? How seriously do you take it when you make those statements to God?
“Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few” (Ecclesiastes 5:2). This is about talking before God, but you should not be rash or hasty with your word to anyone! Be careful what you tell someone you’re going to do, because words matter.
“When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed” (verse 4). God demands follow through. Better not to say it than to say it and not do it (verse 5).
“Let not your mouth lead you into sin, and do not say before the messenger that it was a mistake; why should God be angry at your voice, and destroy the work of your hands?” (verse 6; rsv). People say this all the time: Something came up.God says, No. If you say you’re going to do it, do it. Don’t give your word if you’re not going to keep it!
Jellyfish People
In his 1916 book Making Life a Masterpiece, Orison Swett Marden wrote, “Only recently a prominent public man was criticized throughout the newspaper world as one not having enough character to keep his promises. He had not the stamina to make good when to do so proved difficult” (emphasis added throughout). That is so often the issue: You say you will do something, but then circumstances change and you realize there is inconvenience involved that you didn’t anticipate. You see these short-term costs, and suddenly, what you said you would do doesn’t seem worth it.
But think about the long-term cost of losing your credibility! Think about the high cost of developing a notoriety for being unreliable. Think about the high cost of compromising your character.
“He hadn’t the timber, the character fiber, to stand up and do the thing he knew to be right, and that he had promised to do,” Marden continued. “The world is full of these jellyfish people who have not lime enough in their backbone to stand erect, to do the right thing. They are always stepping into the spotlight in the good-intention stage, and then, when the reckoning time comes, taking the line of least resistance, doing the thing which will cost the least effort or money, regardless of later consequences. They think they can be as unscrupulous about breaking promises as they were about making them. But sooner or later fate makes us play fair, or get out of the game.”
How often do people break their word to you? They say they’ll be there at 7:30 sharp—or help you move your furniture—and then say, Oh, I forgot! or, Something came up! Sorry, dude. Often there is no explanation or apology. It is obvious they don’t really care about a broken word. How often have you done this?
The Ninth Commandment
“When thou shalt vow a vow unto the Lord thy God, thou shalt not slack to pay it: for the Lord thy God will surely require it of thee; and it would be sin in thee” (Deuteronomy 23:21). Yes, sin.
“Why is breaking a vow a sin? If you break a vow you have lied. Lying is a violation of one of the 10 cardinal points of the law! That’s how serious a broken vow can be!” (Good News, February 1960).
If you do not vow, there is no sin (verse 22). You are not held to account for something you don’t commit to. But when you give your word, then failing to follow through makes you a liar. In principle, if you volunteer to help out, and don’t—you’ve lied; if you say you’ll meet someone, and don’t—you’ve lied; if you say the project will be done by 3:00 Thursday, and it isn’t—you’ve lied.
We can unwittingly utter all kinds of potential lies: I’ll do it; I’ll be there; I’ll pick you up; I’ll bring it over; I’ll help you out. Don’t say those things if you don’t mean it and aren’t willing to do it even if circumstances make it inconvenient to do so.
When you say, I will do it, you are signing your name to the contract and committing your reputation and your character.
“That which is gone out of thy lips thou shalt keep and perform; even a freewill offering, according as thou hast vowed unto the Lord thy God, which thou hast promised with thy mouth” (verse 23). The Jewish Translation renders keep and perform as “observe and do.” That freewill offering you voluntarily committed to is now an obligation.
Only a few decades ago, many if not most significant business transactions were sealed with a man’s word and his handshake. No forms. No lawyers. No contracts. The man saying it was the contract. But modern society has gotten further and further from God—and from lives of honesty, uprightness, integrity, truth and trustworthiness. Now, agreements must be bound by carefully worded, signed, notarized contracts because people can’t be trusted to keep their word! If everyone struggled and fought to keep his word, no matter the obstacles, we wouldn’t need contracts and lawyers!
Self-Love Vs. Actual Love
God calls it a sin to break a vow—but in truth, anytime we prove unreliable, we have sinned by not showing love.
“A lying tongue hateth those that are afflicted by it; and a flattering mouth worketh ruin” (Proverbs 26:28). If you lie, you hate the person you’re lying to! We can make excuses for ourselves, but this verse pins us to the wall. God’s law of love holds us accountable for what we say.
Failing to be a person of your word is the opposite of love. It is a clear form of self-love. That is the essence of sin: putting the self first,above God or fellow man.
When you give your word without keeping it, you are flattering yourself, projecting yourself as being more virtuous than you actually are. That is sin.
But a broken word is also sin because it really hurts other people! People count on what you say. When you break your word, you show that they don’t mean much to you—their time isn’t important to you, their concerns are easily brushed aside.
God strongly condemns those who “show love” with their mouths, but whose hearts are self-absorbed (Ezekiel 33:31).
This issue of reliability—of keeping your word—is all-encompassing. Think about all the areas of your life it touches. How often do you allow things to slip rather than seeing them through? How often do you become distracted rather than following a thing to completion? Do you give a book back to the person you borrowed it from? When you tell someone you’ll pray for them, do you pray for them? How seriously do you take a word you’ve given?
Christ says that “every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment” (Matthew 12:36).
Christ’s Command Against Swearing
“Again, ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, Thou shalt not forswear thyself, but shalt perform unto the Lord thine oaths” (Matthew 5:33). “Forswear yourself” means swear falsely. We saw where God commands we perform our oaths to Him. Deuteronomy 6:13 and 10:20 tell us to swear to God,not to any false gods. But these people were going around uttering dramatic pronouncements: I swear this by heaven, or by Earth. I swear by Jerusalem that I will accomplish this feat. I swear by my own head that I will perform this act! They even had different levels of oaths—if they weren’t quite so serious, they would swear by some lesser thing.
“But I say unto you, Swear not at all …” (Matthew 5:34). Christ said, This is all nonsense! “[N]either by heaven; for it is God’s throne: Nor by the earth; for it is his footstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the city of the great King. Neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou canst not make one hair white or black” (verses 34-36).
You’re a pitiful human being—stop acting like you can affect heaven or Earth by something you do or don’t do! You don’t even know whether or not you can fulfill that oath! Something might come up. Maybe there’s something you don’t see completely that would prevent you. So don’t act as though you are godlike in your ability to see it through.
“Here Jesus warns against swearing because we cannot perform the oath, and we would be taking the name of God in vain!” the January 1952 Good News said. That is breaking another commandment! “Not only is it wrong to lie deliberately under oath … but we as human beings are so prone to mistaken judgment or lack of knowledge, that any error we would make under oath would be to take the name of God in vain. It’s sin!”
There obviously isn’t anything inherently wrong with swearing because God does it! When Christ was a God Being, He did swear. However, when He was in the flesh, He did not! He set us an example. There is good reason why God doesn’t want us swearing today: He knows we simply don’t have the character!
“The principle of taking God’s name in an oath is correct and right. But we must not do it today, because we are subject to error and would be taking it in vain. When we are made on the plane of God, we shall swear by God because we shall be God and cannot lie or swear falsely. And being in the Family of God, we shall have the power of performing our oaths. This we can’t do now” (ibid). There are actually prophecies that show, once we are God beings and perfect, that we will swear! (Isaiah 65:16; Jeremiah 4:2).
An element of humility is required to recognize that your perspective and power as a human being are limited. But realize: Christ is not forbidding you to make commitments with your words. Rather He is saying that we should be trustworthy! What comes out of your mouth should be true—regardless of whether it’s a formal vow!
Let Your Yes Be Yes!
“‘But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one’” (Matthew 5:37; New King James Version).
Is your yes really yes? Is your no really no?
“But I had something come up ….” Did you tell that person yes?
“I forgot about it ….” Did you say you would do it?
“I ran out of time ….” Did you give your word? Does God make these excuses with you?
“Well, I didn’t say ‘I promise I’ll do it.’” Jesus Christ never “promised” to do anything either! He let His “Yes” be yes.
“But what think ye? A certain man had two sons; and he came to the first, and said, Son, go work to day in my vineyard. He answered and said, I will not: but afterward he repented, and went. And he came to the second, and said likewise. And he answered and said, I go, sir: and went not” (Matthew 21:28-30). Lange’s Commentary says the phrase “I go” wasn’t just yes,but an “expression of devoted willingness.” A couple of translations render it, “I will, sir.”
Christ is contrasting those who refused God at first but then repented and changed, with those who say all the right things—Oh yes, Dad, I’ll help you out!—but then don’t follow through and keep their word.
The religious leaders Christ was speaking to presented themselves as very obedient and pious:I will, sir! Do you? God tells you, Son, go work today in my vineyard. He wants action. This is how we grow in character and become more like God: by doing God’s business. We don’t grow by wishing—we grow by doing. We don’t grow by promising—we grow by carrying out our promises!
Love in Deed
Psalm 15 lists qualities God really loves. Verse 4 praises “He who swears to his own hurt and does not change” (nkjv). Sometimes we can be shortsighted and commit to something that ends up being “to our hurt.” But here is the real challenge: Do you then change? God is impressed by the man who changes not. Even when that man realizes the difficulty in the commitment, he sticks with it. Even when he’s going to suffer for it—he keeps his word! That man is showing real character.That is the man God wants abiding with Him in His tabernacle.
This is not a religion of just doing things when they are convenient for us. This is a religion of laying down our life for the Family. God expects sacrifice. “Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren” (1 John 3:16).
“But whoso hath this world’s good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him? My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth” (verses 17-18). We can be careless in verbalizing support without really meaning it: I’m praying for you. Let’s do something together. You’re like a brother. I’ll support you. God wants our words to match what we do! He wants what we say to be truth! That is the actual love of God.
Think about Christ’s crucifixion. Christ had committed to it. He had second thoughts, but He followed through—“to His own hurt”!
“I have been asked what I mean by ‘word of honor.’ I will tell you,” said 19th-century educator Karl G. Maeser. “Place me behind prison walls—walls of stone ever so high, ever so thick, reaching ever so far into the ground—there is a possibility that in some way or another I might be able to escape. But stand me on the floor and draw a chalk line around me and have me give my word of honor never to cross it. Can I get out of that circle? No, never! I’d die first.”
In his 1856 inaugural address of the University of Glasgow (Scotland), Lord Bulwer Lytton said, “A man is already of consequence in the world when it is known that we can implicitly rely upon him. I have frequently seen in life a person preferred to a long list of applicants for some important charge, which lifts him at once into station and fortune, merely because he has this reputation—that when he says he knows a thing, he knows it, and when he says he will do a thing, he will do it.”
What is your reputation? Keeping your word should be as important as the Ten Commandments! Because it is keeping the Ten Commandments. This is the love of God!
Examine yourself. Strive to become more like God. Follow His example! When we keep our word, we keep His word! As the Apostle John wrote in 1 John 2:5: “[W]hoso keepeth his word, in him verily is the love of God perfected.”